2017 : Down the crooked lane 

Well, first the wish ! 

HAPPY 2018 TO ALL READERS 

As 2018 unfolds, memory of the year goneby begins to fade. However, past events do hold strands of continuity and change portentous for years to come. So more sagacious minds and analysts will be vivisecting 2017 and churning out happy auguries or doomsday prophesies. That will be mainstream wisdom. But it’s the tiny rivulets sprouting from the main current of 2017 and coursingcrookedly through countless sand dunes to irrigate patches of land in the river bed that interests me 

here. Are they insignificant ?  When the river is in spate, it takes into its embrace all the rivulets - once isolated , they turn mainstream. Can one then say rivulets are inconsequential ? Well, look at a few of these crooked flows before you decide. 

The Satanic Rewards 

Inspired by Ayatollah Khomeini announcing a cash reward on Salman Rushdie’s head for reciting ‘The Satanic Verses’ our ‘Right’ minds have come up with an adaptation , best described as “The Satanic Rewards”.  A 10 cr reward for chopping of heads of Bhansali and Deepika Padukone for daring ‘Padmavati’ ;  1 cr for slapping Tej Pratap Yadav, son of RJD supremo,Lalu Yadav; 1 lac for chopping off head of Sunil Singh, maker of ‘Game of Ayodhya’, a documentary on demolition of Babri Masjid and the Ramjanambhoomi movement. A ‘New India’ of  Mr Modi’s dreams? 

Off-Centre 

1. MOS Hansraj Ahir peeved at senior doctors not attending a meeting addressed by him “(they) should join Naxals” and “ we will then shoot you with bullets “ 
2. As a corollary to One nation, One song, One election, One Identity Card.... why not a national dish too ! Rather, One gruel as the suggested dish was khicchdi for it is the ‘epitome of homogeneity’. 
3. At the Times Literary Fest invitees included Baba Ramdev and Gurmehar Kaur. The former is a mogul and latter a student pursuing degree in literature, rather thin literary credentials. 
4. If JNU row led to suggestions of tanks being placed in Univs to inculcate nationalistic pride , Rajasthan govt does an encore, only this time it’s not tanks but statutes of Vivekananda in state varsities. But why go to that length and expense, instead mandate all students to carry photos of Vivekananda at all times on their person, the patriotic fervour will radiate  even outside the campuses.
5. Publicity of condom ads on television channels only between 10 pm and 6 am ,says the state. If the intent is to sync the ads with the most probable usage time of the product , hats off , it’s a master stroke, else another instance of state dictating citizen’s choices. 
6.  Washington roads worse than MP roads ,says the CM ,Shivraj Chauhan after visiting the city. Trumping Trump ? maybe !  
7. RG a devotee of Babur and a kin of Alauddin khilji 
8. Zomato having to pull down an ad for its products ,MC and BC because the acronyms reminded us of two unpardonable abuses. The products are  however,

         MC—mac & chem 

         BC—butter chicken  

  9.  Sushil Kumar wins the Seniors Championship in wrestling without stepping into the ring for       quarter finals, semi- finals and finals. 
10. Steve Smith claiming a ‘brain fade’ in the second Test at Bangalore to explain why he looked to the dressing room to decide whether to appeal against being given out . 
11. Finally Bengal gets Geographical Indications Tag for the delectable Rasagolla after a bitter contest with Odisha. But doesnt a rasagolla,wherever produced, taste just as sweet  
12. As a first in cricket history, players took to the field in Delhi wearing pollution masks in the SriLanka -India series. 

Wisecracks 

1. Surgical strike enters cricketing lexicon. On the eve of Indo-Pak Champion’s Trophy final one meme had PM saying “so jana deshwasiyon,kal surgical strike 2 dekhna hai” .
2. And who says our PSUs lack marketing wisdom. After an incident of IndiGo airlines employee slapping a customer, Air India came up with these ads;

         “We raise our hands only to say Namaste”

         “ UnBEATable service” 

3. Modi “these days they (remember) Baba Bhole more than Baba Saheb -[Ref RG visiting temples in Gujarat] 
4. Ross Taylor ( not tailor), Virendra Sehwag banter on Twitter during the T20 NZ-India cricket series

VS (22.10) well played Darji ji . Great effort after handling the pressure of Diwali orders.

RT(23.10)  thanks Viru for your kind words. Do let me know if you want anything to be stitched.

VS (23.10) Sure will come up with orders for entire family.

VS (7.11) Dhulai ke baad Silai .(after India won the series)

Pearls of Wisdom 

Every year, out-of-the-box thinkers make us wiser. 

1. Piyush Goyal “ Reduction in jobs just shows that more and more young people want to be entrepreneurs. A very 
2. good sign”. Unconventional wisdom. And pray if all young men become entrepreneurs ,who will be the workers, older men ? 
3. Mohan Bhagwat “ Germany is country of Germans, Britain of  Britishers, Hindustan of Hindus” . Then all turkeys live in Turkey and only chillies found in Chile.
4. Justice M  C Sharma (retd) ,RajHC “ Peacocks and Peahens do not have sex. Peacock drops his tears, Peahen sips it and gets pregnant.” Few knew.
5. Babubhai Bokhiriya: Nehru prevented Modiji from becoming PM in 1947. Modiji was born in 1950 
6. The inimitable Arnab Goswami did a census of Illegal Bangladeshi migrants in Bengal. And he found 57 cr of them , almost half of India’s population. 
7. Sarhana Sangeet Som ,BJP MP, felt disgusted of a period in history in which the builder of Taj was imprisoned by his father. When history is revisited, beware, even relationships get reversed.
8. S Jagannathan gives 10 reason why high oil prices are good for the nation. Mind you he talks of oil starved India ,not Saudi Arabia. 

Deep Past still haunting ? 

1. Coffingate repeat : Bodies of seven jawans killed in action returned home wrapped in plastic and cardboard sheets. Why, coffins not readily available ! In Kargil war too the few wooden coffins that were available were unusable. Can’t  we display better sensitivity ? 
2. On the day following promulgation of Emergency, many newspapers carried blank editorials. Something similar  happened in Imphal on 20th Nov. Newspapers came out with no editorials as a mark of solidarity with the daily ‘Poknaphan’ that suffered vandalism by BJP youth wing for carrying alleged disparaging content on PM . 

Is this all that 2017 had to offer ? No ! certainly no, there’s more to come.  

Meanwhile , let us keep our hopes and dreams alive !